When you meet someone new in your life getting to know that individual is a learning experience. An attraction is initially there to begin with for you to want to get to know them in the first place but the more you get to know them, the more is revealed… the good, the bad and the ugly. When you first meet someone it’s almost as if it’s a whirl wind fairytale. You’re excited to be around them, you’re excited to understand what makes them this new bright light in your life. I like to call this the “honeymoon period”. Whether its a new platonic relationship or your actually dating, everyone is still at the “I want to impress you” stage not really letting their guard down exposing who they truly are.
After you have established your position within this new friendship/relationship and you become comfortable in this position that is when guards start to come down and new traits start to show.
The issues that start to arise is you realise that the sugar coated persona you once knew is not an everyday thing. I understand we can’t always be happy go lucky and thoughtful all the time but my issue right now is getting used to the new traits that wasn’t exposed before.
Im a laid back kind of girl, my persona is warm and inviting. I have some what of patience of a saint so when someone I’m interacting with is very vocal and harshly blunt, it takes me back and I can’t lie it also rubs me up the wrong way.
Maybe I’m too soft and I need to “man up” and be a little tougher. But why should I have to change who I am to accommodate someone new in my life?. Surly my persona is what attracted this person to my life in the first place. Perhaps it’s a learning phase. An opportunity to learn each other’s differences and grow from it. But at what expense? I’m not prepared to feel indifferent and uncomfortable just so the other person doesn’t. Surely it’s about comprising and understand the dos and don’ts…. hmmm TBC
Just read your blog ! I have been married for 15 years now with my husband. I am in my mid 40’s and he is in his 50’s. My boyfriend in my 20’s was a total idiot, texted late, couldn’t function socially, talked like a school kid, basically useless. I dated plenty of these fools !
Then I met my husband when I was only 28. It was online. He was an older man hitting on me online and at first I was intrigued, we dated, he wasn’t really for me but i thought and thought and though about it, then we kind of grew. I saw something within him that made me get with him. First of all, relationship was good, he was attentive, never disrespected me, and i grew in confidence and ruled the roost so to speak. I could tell he thought i was turning into a domineering feminist and I wanted the earth moved, but thats what he wanted. He was older and because of my demands he began to get submissive, i had my way and then knew that he enjoyed being told what to do around by me. I have had the odd kiss with guys who have fancied me but my hubby is the one !
I started to go real hard on him recently, he really bucked up his ideas. Now here is the kicker. My hubby is fairly successful & this successful and submissive man actually now shows me total divine respect at all times. I am the QUEEN ! the ruler
Your post resonated, that was me in my 20’s !
Jade i see you as an alpha female, stronger, determined, dominant ! that dude you gonna love is the dude that right now probably repulses you, or seems like a weakling ! that weakling is the stronger guy because he will respect you and love you !!! YOU WILL FIND HIM !! and he will literally kiss the ground you walk on !!
Aww thank you tessa. Hopefully all the things I need will follow through. In my generation it is very hard to even find a companion to have a meal with let alone settle down and have a relationship with! It’s a hard lonely road but everything comes together eventually x
Your one of the alpha females !! my hubby cleans my workshoes LOL xxx ill will keep following your blog xx