people

So I must please you but who the fuck is pleasing me?

This morning while I was working out at the gym, hip hop blasting in my headphones I started to analyse certain things that I’ve been through and still currently going through and I started to get pissed off! I don’t know about you but when I’m working out with my headphones on it gives me time to tune out from the world and be with my own thoughts. 
This morning thoughts bottles down to being used. Everyone has been used some point in their lives but with me the shit reoccurs and I do but I don’t understand why. 

My character is very chilled. I’m super laid back, go with the flow and with that comes the openness to communicate with people. I’m not a standoffish person, I’m a kind of girl who has an open ear and a outgoing persona. So when you acquire all of these qualities it usually attracts bullshit people, people who always want something and also people who likes to make an appearance after years of absence. 

At first i’m questioning why this person wants to talk after all these years but then I talk myself down to hear the person out. (Silly me) The conversation usually  flows well, catching up with what’s happened in each other’s lives but then the person contacts me the next day, and everyday after that which then makes me think.. “hmmm, what do you really want from me because in the past you wasn’t blowing up my inbox like this”. 

Then Surprise, surprise just as I thought the person asks me for a favour, and has the cheek to continuously asks for more favours as if me and this person is on that kind of friend level. 

Now don’t get me wrong I’m here to help those in need but when people constantly want something from you surely it becomes draining and annoying?
It’s annoying because the user is bullshitting me. Creating this friendly safe haven, pretending to actually give a fuck but in actual reality they’re just waiting for my guard to go down so they can get what they want. I can’t stand that sneaky shit. 
I’m sick of it especially because I’m not that way inclined. I don’t ask for shit from anyone. I could have 50p in my purse I would never ask for money. I could be stuck on how to do something and I will try to figure it out on my own. I’m built that way, that’s how my mama raised me. To be independent. 

Ive learnt at a very young age that you can’t rely on anyone but yourself and it’s just as well because looking back on my life all the so called “friends” and “guys” I’ve had, not one of them had my back the way I had theirs. 
Looking at relationships with guys ( slim Pickens) not one of them had my best interest at heart. Sure they might talk the talk but their actions told me otherwise. Which is usually the main reason why I cut them out of my life so swiftly. They may have acted like they had my back but in reality they lied and cheated to suit their needs because at the end of the day that’s what it’s about. Catering to themselves. 

Today Is just one of those days where I reached breaking point! It’s the audacity of it all, why must I cater to your needs, your wants and desires. Who the fuck is there for me when I’m sad, when I’m in need of something? Who’s checking to see if I’m ok, to see how my life is going.. no one. This is a tit for tat world because at the end of the day you can’t keep giving to someone, draining your time and energy and not receive anything back. 
Right now I’m at a place where I’m really trying to get my shit together, to be happy with myself. I don’t need any bullshit coming my way. To be honest I just want to be left alone. Room to breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating from people’s “fakeness”. My birthday is in 8 days.. perhaps a change in the way I handle myself is needed. Maybe I need to have a little more bitch in me because being nice to everyone gets me in the position of being used. 

10 Most Annoying Things At My Gym


As I am on my fitness/ weight loss journey cutting out junk is not the only thing I have to do in order to reach my goal… Exercise is also vital!

I must admit I hate exercising BUT I love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards and the pain I feel in my body the next day. Getting to the gym is more challenging than ever now that I’m not driving so when I do eventually drag my resentful ass to my gym the last thing I want to face is annoying ass people or things to disrupt my workout. Unfortunately annoying shit happens on every visit so heres a list of 10 things that grinds my gears!!!

1. Hogging Machines – Don’t you just hate it when you’re coming to an end of your workout and you’re waiting to use another machine but some inconsiderate twat is just sitting down NOT WORKING OUT! Many times this occurs at my gym where I’ve actually witness a man reading a newspaper STILL NOT WORKING OUT and a woman playing Candy Crush.

2. They steal machines/ equipment when they’re still being used – Now I’m all for sharing and not being a fellow hog but it’s so annoying when someone clearly sees that you have been using an equipment but feels the need to pick up it between sets. I’m having a 20 second rest sir I’m NOT finished!

3. Having full blown LOUD arguments/ conversations on the phone – I kid you not this actually happened one day. This meat head, Johnny Bravo shaped man actually had a massive argument on the phone whiles hogging a machine! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! It was so distracting especially when I was pushing 180 kg on the Leg press trying to keep strong. Although I could not understand what he was saying ( Eastern European) this man managed to out sound the loud music that was blasting from the speakers. It got so bad that eventually me and my girl turned around and told him to Shut up! Lol

4. Sweaty Betty/ Bobs forgetting to wipe down the machines – I’m a firm believer in if you’re not sweating, you’re not working hard enough BUT the last thing I want to endure is having your bodily fluids gaining contact to my skin! Gross!

5. Staff persistently offering their personal training service – I understand that personal trainers have to hustle hard and build up a clientele but if you have approached me already about what you have to offer, please leave me be until I am ready to make contact. I don’t want to have to keep dodging and diving you! Lol

6. Equipment disappearing – So annoying especially when I have a workout planned in my head and I need specific equipment which has either been stolen or misplaced.

7. Space Invaders – you know the kind of people who have no awareness of personal space! People who get on the treadmill right next to you when there are loads of empty ones. Or when you’re trying to skip and they decide to stand right in front of you!

8. Smelly People – I understand that we all get a little sweat funky after a hard workout but what drives me mad is people who smell BEFORE a workout. This only enhances the disgusting fragrance throughout their workout which results to getting a burning sensation in my nose.

9. Unattended Fully Booked Classes – My gym is the worst to book a class. You can try book a class a week in advanced and it’s still fully booked! But what annoys me the most is when I do get a place to a spinning class and there are loads of empty bikes! The least people can do is cancel their booking so that someone else can have opportunity to attend!

10. Front desk gates & security – My gym is literally on the scale of an airport! Two front desk gates which requires a gym pass to access them both! There’s been times I’ve forgotten my pass and the passionate security guard wants me to report to front desk to show some form of identification. Like to say I wasn’t here yesterday and the day before! You know my face dude just let me in!

 

*Sigh* Im going to the gym later today and just thinking about all these annoying points is getting me down! Lol I think it’s time to move to a new gym!