Chapter 28

I have just entered my new birth year  (14th October) and you know what, I actually feel really good about it. I was dreading turning a year older due to personal things in my life not coming together BUT I feel grateful and blessed. I know how truly blessed I am to have a loving family, good friends and health.
This birthday I just wanted to let my hair down and have a fun, care free celebration. I normally organise a birthday dinner extravaganza where I’m the one worrying about people showing up on time, whether their having a good time etc. This year I grew sick and tired with a lot of people and decided to just focus on something much more laid back.

I chose to attend a 90’s themed Karaoke event where the entire venue and guest paid homage to the best era for Hiphop and R&B. There was karaoke, old skool games such as Nintendo 64, PAC Man and old skool props including dress code. I had such a laugh with my girls dancing the night away and drinking way too much Rum. 

I chose to get my 90’s inspiration from Mary J Blige, Faith Evans and 90’s Chola’s from Compton. I two toned my lips using dark lip liner and burgundy & red mate cream lipstick. I bought some door knocker gold earrings and wore a black body with high rise black jeans. I also wore faux fur but I didn’t manage to get a pic wearing it. 

I believe every time you turn a year older there must be some form of positive change whether it’s in work life, personal relationships or just a change in your mind set. Personal growth is so important. I always seem to have an epiphany leading up to my birthday where I assess my life and the people in it and whether it’s a healthy to continue going into a new birth year the same way. Change is good and I have faith in god and myself to make this new chapter a positive and happy one. Xo

Pushing Positivity 

So about two weeks ago my friend posted that he was participating in an event for a great charity. After checking what the event was about I immediately wanted to be a part of such a great cause! So on November 12th not just myself but my lovely team members above (called the GameChangers) will be taking part in the sleep out event for Centrepoint charity.

This means we will be spending the night on the street from 7pm-7am experiencing what thousands of homeless young people experience every night.

If you’re wondering why? There are young people running away from home for many reasons. Some are experiencing different types of abuse within their household, some are being kicked out by their troubled parents who have drug addictions, escaping street crime, mental health issues etc so the only option for them is to run away to escape but sadly they’re ending up on the streets.

CentrePoint homeless charity has a much broader approach to tackling youth homelessness. They look at the root causes of homelessness and ensure that everything they do makes a real and lasting difference to young people – whether that’s helping them to find a home, supporting them into education, teaching them basic life skills or ensuring they have the opportunity to find work.

Ive been wanting to give back to those less fortunate than myself for sometime. I know I have complained about some issues I face in my life, but understand that I am fully aware how blessed I am to have supportive family, friends and a roof over my head! Many are not as fortunate to have things we take for granted everyday!

I will be documenting my experience on the 12th of November but before that day arrives I need to raise a minimum of £350. It would be so amazing if you can please help by sponsoring myself and my team to raise money to get these young people off the streets and get the help they need via CentrePoint. Please share/ spread the word! ✌🏾️ All donations are gratefully received no matter how big or small

Sponsor Link:

Thank you so much! Much Love 😘😘


Ask, Believe and Receive 

I hate talking about my problems to people hence why I keep shit bottled in. I tend to only speak to myself and then end up completely overthinking and mind fucking myself.  I’ve  been trying to have a positive outlook on life. Everyday I give myself a pep talk of “the glass is half full” “everything happens for a reason” but life always has a way of trying me.

I’ve researched, stuck encouraging post-it notes on my mirrors, printed articles, bought books. Shit, I’ve even downloaded ‘The Law of Attraction’ and ‘The Secret Daily Teachings’ app to find words of encouragement. Most recently I’ve downloaded Joel Osteen ‘Word of Today’ app to uplift and motivate me with words of worship to God. I have done all of these things and my morale and my life doesn’t seem to be pushing forward positively.

The law of attraction is basically a state of mind philosophy, for one to free their mind from negativity and revel in the universal law of positive attraction. It’s all about having a positive mind set, think positive thoughts and those very thoughts will become a reality.

But my question is does this shit even work?!

If I keep speaking things into existence and having positive uplifting thoughts will I get what I want?

I’ve been ASKING for what I want, I BELIEVE I deserve and can obtain what I want so when will I RECEIVE what I want??

I need some guidance or a sign because right now I’m feeling so damn fed up and I hate being such a Debbie downer….church on Sunday perhaps? Xo

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

Before & After

Before & After

For as long as I can remember I have constantly battled with my weight. I started to notice I was different around the age of 7. I was tall and chubby and far different from all my friends and cousins. As a kid I always had an idea of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to look like but my reality was always exposed when I looked in the mirror. I guess I always wanted to be looked as a delicate flower, some sort of a princess ballerina but I was always seen as cute, chubby, bubbly Jade. My mum always encouraged, forced me to lose weight in the past but I guess when you feel the pressure from a parent to be/ look a certain way the rebellious side tends to come out and I always did the complete opposite (secretly). I guess I can sit here and blame the dysfunctional childhood I had with my dad, being mistreated and neglected by him and all the drama he caused for my mum and myself but the truth is I LOVE FOOD. I am 100% a foodie! I love the comfort it brings, I love to cook, I love to chill out on my own (I love my own company) with a good movie, with a side of some sort delicious snack. When I reached my teen years I became more and more self-conscious about my weight but I would put my best poker face on and lie to myself thinking everything would workout for the best and come full circle. Although thankfully I was never bullied about my weight, I went through my entire high school, college and first year of university being self conscious about myself. I was always looked as the funny girl, the girl that was cool with everyone but as a young woman, never having compliments about my appearance, never having desirable guys wanting to date me or be my boyfriend my confidence level was nonexistent. Although one should always love themselves first and never look at another for approval or acceptance, I’m sure we all can admit that being desired, wanted by someone you equally want and desire is a confidence boost. It is a good feeling knowing someone wants you just as much as you may or may not want them.
After years of tears, depression and resentment about my weight towards the end of my first year at university I decided enough was enough and it was time for a change. Once I handed my last assignment I went ghost for the entire summer and completed a diet programme. For 12 weeks I hibernated and stayed in my house determined to make a change for myself. All I’ve ever wanted was to be happy and proud of myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin, so staying focus on my weight loss journey was mandatory.

**** Side bar**** When you decide to make positive changes in you life loyal friends, people who really have your back 100% come to light and those who really should have never been in your life at all are exposed. I have gone through a lot of negative shit in my life and people who I always was loyal to I later found out that they were not true of a friend to me as a thought. For those who are making a positive change for themselves unfortunately you will always get people trying to keep you down with them. When I started my weight loss Journey I had so called friends and family asking me ” Why do you want to lose weight for?” ” You’re only going to put it all back on once you finished” oh and the classic bullshit comment “you’re fine as you are, you don’t need to lose weight” meanwhile these same people are slim and tightly tone with a waist the size of my thigh. I came to the conclusion that certain people are scared of change, deep down they find you as a threat but the one thing they had over you or in some cases share the same quality as them is the same thing you have decided to change for the good. True friends give words of encouragement, they support and love you no matter what changes you make to your life whether it be a new boyfriend, a new career, a new car etc. If anytime you share good, positive news with a so called friend and they don’t support or show you love and encouragement, just know that it is time to distance yourself and move on to positive like minded people. Not everyone you started out with must always remain in your life. ********

Towards the end of my summer I had dropped 4 Stones (56 pounds, 25.4 KG) and I began to love what I saw in the mirror. The shocked factor was in full effect when I decided to come out of hibernation. Seeing the faces of the negative people who doubted my will power was priceless! I didn’t 100% reach my target weight but the left picture above was just before I started my weight loss journey. The craziest thing is I actually became even bigger than that before I started my journey. Although I have never gone back to the size of the left pic, it has been a long ass ride (like I said I love food too much). I have continued to lose and put on a few pounds here and there, back and forth. Truth is I’m still struggling to jump the last hurdle and reach my goal. I sit here writing this post today feeling deflated about my body, I am still my own worst enemy and harshest critic. Not one person can make me feel worst about myself the way I do. Mind fucking myself is definitely my downfall, I constantly over think shit but for the last 3 months I have been putting my all into watching what I eat and going hard in the gym. Every diet you can think of I have done, shake diets, starvation, juice diets, you name it, I’ve done it. For the Last 3 months however I have decided to do it the correct way, eat healthy, no crash diet and workout out hard till my whole body becomes crippled.
Main reason why I am feeling more body conscious is because I am going to a well deserved luxury holiday with my girl to Dominican Republic and I have been breaking my back trying to feel good about my body before I fly out on July the 1st. I have created tremendous pressure for myself constantly comparing myself to what my friend looks like and the idea of what I should look like. I have 3 WEEKS AND 3 DAYS left for a miracle to happen, lord knows I need it. I know losing weight and making a body transformation takes time, patients and dedication but time is not what’s on my side right now. I know realistically I wont be at my goal weight by July the 1st but if I can shift some more tummy weight and feel good when I walk out on to that gorgeous Dominican beach, I will feel that all this hard work I have been putting in was not all in vain. Prayer and a positive mindset is what I need to stick to and my 5th gym session this week… Spinning tomorrow morning 9am.

Wish me luck!

I’m The unknown


Fear of the unknown is common in everyone, it’s only natural to want to avoid rejection and embarrassment but to what lengths are you willing to go for something you really want??
Social media is the main source of misconception of people’s lives. We live day-to-day, hours on end with our smart phones and tablets in our hands, constantly looking and searching for an insight into people’s lives whether it’s celebrities or the average ‘Joes’. Meeting new people whether it is on a platonic friendship level or dating has become hard to come by in person. Meeting Joe Blogs in Tescos is a thing of the past where now people rely on social media sites to make moves and get connected.
People upload photos of themselves living a life they want the world to see, to give an impression they want the world to have of them, but that’s when people misconstrue between what is their reality and the true character of that particular person. Funny enough I came across this picture on Instagram and I immediately laughed to myself as I am too guilty of thinking negatively about how one might see me. We constantly pose and add filters to our pictures creating a public image that we want to have at the time, not knowing that the outcome of this dark fantasy can actually leave a lasting impression on the spectator. You could be the most humble sweet funny guy/girl in the world but because your photos are stunningly attractive to someone, sadly a misconception of who you truly are is created. I’m constantly being told by people what kind of person they think I am and how my life plays out day to day because of the ideas they have created purely from my photos on Instagram. Mostly it’s guys telling me the fantastic social life I’m suppose to have, and all the countless dates and exciting ventures I participate when in reality I’m at home hair tied, chilling with my PJ’s on. I believe people place strangers on a pedal far too quickly without getting to know their true character. An idea of who they are is already set in stone without saying so much as a hello to them. This is when we feel that certain people are unapproachable/ unreachable and miss opportunities of gaining new friendships. I believe if we ignore the made up persona created on social media or through other people’s opinions, great opportunities may arise with these people we feel that are untouchable and friendships may last a life time. Confidence is key in any given situation especially making the first move with introducing yourself. You never know that particular person you have been dying to talk to for months might be feeling the same way about you. Take a deep breath and go for it, make the first move. If things don’t go according to plan dust yourself off and move on. If that person shows complete disregard towards you then that person clearly doesn’t deserve the fantastic person you are..always remember every rejection is gods way of protecting you 😉