confidence

The Misconception of a Woman’s Body

This also applies to women too. It’s so easy to get caught up in the social world.  The misconception of what a “real” woman should look like has many women feeling inadequate, less than because it’s what’s idolised by the masses. Small waist and a big fat booty is what most are killing themselves to look like, even though every woman’s body is built differently. I am guilty of having this cloudy idea of how I should look. But I understand that no one is perfect, no such thing! I’m flawed and have many imperfections but I’m working on being a better healthier me. To love yourself for exactly who you are and all the qualities you possess is sexy. A man that can’t do the same is NOT for you. 😘😉

My Constant Fuck Up

I don’t know what it is about myself why I keep letting myself down. The term ‘getting in my own way’ 1000% applies to me. I am emotionally drained with the constant battle with my weight. There isn’t a single day I don’t mind fuck myself with guilt, anger and frustration over my appearance. My confidence level is an at all time low as I write this, trying to work out why I keep setting myself back from officially reaching my goal. Yh I have lost a lot of weight in the past and yes I have NOT put all my weight back on BUT there’s something wrong with my brain that once I start to see progress, I fuck it all up and become lazy again. My previous weight loss post where I talked about my on going battle was true to the core. I made great progress cutting out the carbs, hitting the gym 4-5 times a week. But once I came back from my vacation in the Dominican I fell off. I kept telling myself ‘start on Monday’ but Monday never came, I just became lazy only going gym 1-3 times a week. I can blame it on the few devastating events that have occurred since July but I will be lying to myself. There is no excuse as to why I look the way I do. Many people will look at me and say I am crazy for feeling the way I do about myself, (I hear it all the time) but its how I FEEL about MYSELF. There is not one person who can try and convince me that I am ‘Deluding’ myself about my weight. I could have Trey Songz or the rapper Game (Man crushes) standing in front of me, telling me I am perfect just the way I am and I will still feel the same damn way. On Friday I did the unthinkable and stood on the scales and what I saw was NOT pretty…kind of shocking. This is something I don’t normally do but I have reached the point where I am so unhappy with myself that if I continue to carry on, I am literally going to drive myself to the psychiatric ward at my local hospital (A little dramatic but so what, I am currently caught all in my feelings!) My weight is something that is growing heavier on my heart day by day and although I try to have the best poker face 🙂 and not express myself to those closest to me; this situation is affecting my morale.

This is a reality check to myself, things have to change and if I want change I have to make shit happen!

Only I can make myself happy and the only way to do that is to get my ass in gear, eat right, cut out the junk and hit the gym. Its either that or continue to be miserable and I am tired of this unfulfilled feeling I have with myself.

It is well over due but it is 1000000% time to make myself happy.

I’m The unknown

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Fear of the unknown is common in everyone, it’s only natural to want to avoid rejection and embarrassment but to what lengths are you willing to go for something you really want??
Social media is the main source of misconception of people’s lives. We live day-to-day, hours on end with our smart phones and tablets in our hands, constantly looking and searching for an insight into people’s lives whether it’s celebrities or the average ‘Joes’. Meeting new people whether it is on a platonic friendship level or dating has become hard to come by in person. Meeting Joe Blogs in Tescos is a thing of the past where now people rely on social media sites to make moves and get connected.
People upload photos of themselves living a life they want the world to see, to give an impression they want the world to have of them, but that’s when people misconstrue between what is their reality and the true character of that particular person. Funny enough I came across this picture on Instagram and I immediately laughed to myself as I am too guilty of thinking negatively about how one might see me. We constantly pose and add filters to our pictures creating a public image that we want to have at the time, not knowing that the outcome of this dark fantasy can actually leave a lasting impression on the spectator. You could be the most humble sweet funny guy/girl in the world but because your photos are stunningly attractive to someone, sadly a misconception of who you truly are is created. I’m constantly being told by people what kind of person they think I am and how my life plays out day to day because of the ideas they have created purely from my photos on Instagram. Mostly it’s guys telling me the fantastic social life I’m suppose to have, and all the countless dates and exciting ventures I participate when in reality I’m at home hair tied, chilling with my PJ’s on. I believe people place strangers on a pedal far too quickly without getting to know their true character. An idea of who they are is already set in stone without saying so much as a hello to them. This is when we feel that certain people are unapproachable/ unreachable and miss opportunities of gaining new friendships. I believe if we ignore the made up persona created on social media or through other people’s opinions, great opportunities may arise with these people we feel that are untouchable and friendships may last a life time. Confidence is key in any given situation especially making the first move with introducing yourself. You never know that particular person you have been dying to talk to for months might be feeling the same way about you. Take a deep breath and go for it, make the first move. If things don’t go according to plan dust yourself off and move on. If that person shows complete disregard towards you then that person clearly doesn’t deserve the fantastic person you are..always remember every rejection is gods way of protecting you 😉