Love & Life

So I must please you but who the fuck is pleasing me?

This morning while I was working out at the gym, hip hop blasting in my headphones I started to analyse certain things that I’ve been through and still currently going through and I started to get pissed off! I don’t know about you but when I’m working out with my headphones on it gives me time to tune out from the world and be with my own thoughts. 
This morning thoughts bottles down to being used. Everyone has been used some point in their lives but with me the shit reoccurs and I do but I don’t understand why. 

My character is very chilled. I’m super laid back, go with the flow and with that comes the openness to communicate with people. I’m not a standoffish person, I’m a kind of girl who has an open ear and a outgoing persona. So when you acquire all of these qualities it usually attracts bullshit people, people who always want something and also people who likes to make an appearance after years of absence. 

At first i’m questioning why this person wants to talk after all these years but then I talk myself down to hear the person out. (Silly me) The conversation usually  flows well, catching up with what’s happened in each other’s lives but then the person contacts me the next day, and everyday after that which then makes me think.. “hmmm, what do you really want from me because in the past you wasn’t blowing up my inbox like this”. 

Then Surprise, surprise just as I thought the person asks me for a favour, and has the cheek to continuously asks for more favours as if me and this person is on that kind of friend level. 

Now don’t get me wrong I’m here to help those in need but when people constantly want something from you surely it becomes draining and annoying?
It’s annoying because the user is bullshitting me. Creating this friendly safe haven, pretending to actually give a fuck but in actual reality they’re just waiting for my guard to go down so they can get what they want. I can’t stand that sneaky shit. 
I’m sick of it especially because I’m not that way inclined. I don’t ask for shit from anyone. I could have 50p in my purse I would never ask for money. I could be stuck on how to do something and I will try to figure it out on my own. I’m built that way, that’s how my mama raised me. To be independent. 

Ive learnt at a very young age that you can’t rely on anyone but yourself and it’s just as well because looking back on my life all the so called “friends” and “guys” I’ve had, not one of them had my back the way I had theirs. 
Looking at relationships with guys ( slim Pickens) not one of them had my best interest at heart. Sure they might talk the talk but their actions told me otherwise. Which is usually the main reason why I cut them out of my life so swiftly. They may have acted like they had my back but in reality they lied and cheated to suit their needs because at the end of the day that’s what it’s about. Catering to themselves. 

Today Is just one of those days where I reached breaking point! It’s the audacity of it all, why must I cater to your needs, your wants and desires. Who the fuck is there for me when I’m sad, when I’m in need of something? Who’s checking to see if I’m ok, to see how my life is going.. no one. This is a tit for tat world because at the end of the day you can’t keep giving to someone, draining your time and energy and not receive anything back. 
Right now I’m at a place where I’m really trying to get my shit together, to be happy with myself. I don’t need any bullshit coming my way. To be honest I just want to be left alone. Room to breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating from people’s “fakeness”. My birthday is in 8 days.. perhaps a change in the way I handle myself is needed. Maybe I need to have a little more bitch in me because being nice to everyone gets me in the position of being used. 

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Relationships & Being Single: New Ep out now!

Hey guys! It’s been a while! Roughly about a month since my last post 🙈 Life just took over and I lost track of things I wanted to share with you guys! Anyway as you are aware from previous post I have a YouTube channel with my friend and we recently posted a video about relationships and being single. My friend is currently in a relationship so she shares some of her experiences and I talked about being single and the “joys” of trying to find the “right one”

We received a lot of feedback (positive and negative) from men which was quite interesting. We are definitely going to do a part 2 on this topic where we will have some guys join us on this discussion and share their perspectives.

Hope you enjoy 😉

Amsterdam – Appelsap Fest


My annual trip to Amsterdam came around so quickly this year but this time my trip was done a little differently.
Amoung the usual shenanigans I normally get up to, I also attended the Applesap festival. I only found out about this event last year when I was in Amsterdam but unfortunately all the tickets was sold out at the time, so this year me and my girls made sure we booked in advance.

Applesap is a hip hop festival where US, U.K. And Dutch artist come together and party hard!

We arrived early hours of Friday morning and left on Sunday evening. Whenever I travel to Amsterdam I  always pack comfy attire as we walk everywhere! I packed a small hand luggage consisting Joni and Jamie jeans from Topshop, loads of body tops and 1 pair of sandals and my Addidas Superstars.

I had such a laugh with my girls (as always) partying throughout the weekend!
Check out my Vlog I captured on my iphone to see all the festivities

Feeling sorry for myself!


I have exactly 2 months and 4 days until I turn a year older and I’m telling you now I’m not looking forward to it. It’s not that I dislike birthdays, it’s the fact that I’m getting older and still very much in limbo. In the last year I’ve moved on from what I thought was going to be my dream job, I’ve ended an on and off bullshit situationship and most recently (today) I have torn ligaments in my left leg. It’s just a series of bullshit things that hasnt gone right and I know all the uplifting sayings “good things come to those who wait” “all in gods plan”. But damn can’t I get one thing right. I am a planner, I planned how I wanted my life to be from a young age and the only thing that has gone according to this plan is graduating from university. Everything else is up in the air. I feel like everyone is moving forward and I’m stuck on rewind and pause. All my girlfriends are in relationships, I’m literally feeling like the only single woman left in the village. When will things fall into place for me?!

Turning older and the fear of being on my own has got me well and truly fucked up. I thought I’d at least be engaged and have a baby by now. I’m sure most will think it can’t be hard to find a guy and have a baby and you’re absolutely right. But to find a man you connect with, share the same views on life, someone who sparks your soul.. That shit right there is rare. I’m all in for building a life and making life long memories with someone. What I’m not about is being in a volatile relationship that breaks down leaving me being labelled as someone’s “baby mother”. 

This might come across as a moany post but quite frankly I don’t give a shit. Every now and then I reflect and get vex about my situation and need to vent. I’m sure I can’t be the only woman who feels like this.

I’m trying to keep faith because doubting and negative thinking blocks blessings. I just need some indication that something will work out for me. Xo

Big Blogger Expo!


Last Sunday I had the great pleasure of attending the big blogger expo at Danubius Hotel – Regents Park. It was a day where bloggers came together to network with fellow bloggers and amazing brands. I attended with my girls who own online boutique ShopTwoThree who had their own stall, showcasing their amazing sunglasses and new summer collection. 
I came across some great hair and beauty  products which I can’t wait to test out. I really loved the concept of Dr PAW PAW balm – any all rounder product for lips, skin nails and hair. Living Proof hair products also stood out for me especially their humidity proof spray as my hair when straightened always seems to frizz shortly after! 



At the end of the day I was blessed with bags of free products from brands such as  DR PAW PAW, Living Proof, Heaven Skin Care, JewlleryBox.co.uk and many more.



Everyone was so friendly and on a positive vibe. Hopefully new connections were made! 

Festival Season – Wireless

Around this time of year I’m usually somewhere abroad, sipping on cocktails lounging in the sweltering tropical heat but this year I have chosen to stay in my city and enjoy Londons summer events and festivities. So with that being said I attended Wireless festival last weekend at Finsbury Park with my girls which was actually a laugh. I went on Saturday and Sunday being entertained by artist such as Big Sean, Future, Chase & Status, Krept & Konan, A$ap Ferg and my favourite; J Cole.

Saturday is a little hazey ( too much alcohol) but I know I had a lush time! The vibes was positive and grown and I got to see all the performance I had my mind set on.

Unfortunately I can’t say the same for Sunday! The vibe was a lot different than the day before with a lot more attendees and immature behaviour. I didn’t get to see certain performers such as Ty Dollar Sign, khelani, Jeremih and Young Thug due to the poor planning from the Wireless committee who stupidly decided to put these very popular artist in the Pepsi Tent. As you can imagine it was filled over capacity and festival goers became restless and aggressive which unfortunately led to a stampede almost crushing many people including two petite girls who stood right in front of me. I quickly picked them up and left as the pushing was becoming more violent and I was not there to lose my life! I like these artist but I love myself way too much to get crushed just to see them perform. 

The closing act was BBK (Boy Better Know) who SHUT IT DOWN! Bringing out various UK artist and even surprised us with an appearance from Pharrell Williams. 

Overall it was a good weekend but I don’t think I will be attending Wireless again. I think at the age of 27 I have passed the hype of it all and it is now best suited for 24 years and younger! I mean from time I saw 12, 14 & 16 year olds smoking and boasting about popping pills I knew I was passed the drama.

If I’m in this country next year (hopefully not) I will attend something a little more grown…perhaps Garage Nation. 

Here’s a few snaps I managed to take in all the chaos! Xo


Body Talk! New Episode Out Now!

 

Hi Guys. I am super late updating you all on my new episode I filmed with my friend. We share a Youtube channel called Ladies First where we discuss various topics such as relationship, fitness journey, current events etc! Although we are only on episode 2 we have plenty of juicy stuff for you all so please watch, support and subscribe.

In this episode we discuss body image, self confidence and how social media plays a role in the way women see themselves. As you may be aware from my previous post, body image has always been an issue for me so  i really wanted to share a little about myself and hopefully be relatable to the viewers. Learning to love yourself –  the good, the bad and the ugly is a journey and its  definitely something i’m trying to conquer.

Anyway I hope you all like it and understand that the overall message of this video is to spread love, kindness and positivity xox

10 Most Annoying Things At My Gym


As I am on my fitness/ weight loss journey cutting out junk is not the only thing I have to do in order to reach my goal… Exercise is also vital!

I must admit I hate exercising BUT I love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards and the pain I feel in my body the next day. Getting to the gym is more challenging than ever now that I’m not driving so when I do eventually drag my resentful ass to my gym the last thing I want to face is annoying ass people or things to disrupt my workout. Unfortunately annoying shit happens on every visit so heres a list of 10 things that grinds my gears!!!

1. Hogging Machines – Don’t you just hate it when you’re coming to an end of your workout and you’re waiting to use another machine but some inconsiderate twat is just sitting down NOT WORKING OUT! Many times this occurs at my gym where I’ve actually witness a man reading a newspaper STILL NOT WORKING OUT and a woman playing Candy Crush.

2. They steal machines/ equipment when they’re still being used – Now I’m all for sharing and not being a fellow hog but it’s so annoying when someone clearly sees that you have been using an equipment but feels the need to pick up it between sets. I’m having a 20 second rest sir I’m NOT finished!

3. Having full blown LOUD arguments/ conversations on the phone – I kid you not this actually happened one day. This meat head, Johnny Bravo shaped man actually had a massive argument on the phone whiles hogging a machine! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! It was so distracting especially when I was pushing 180 kg on the Leg press trying to keep strong. Although I could not understand what he was saying ( Eastern European) this man managed to out sound the loud music that was blasting from the speakers. It got so bad that eventually me and my girl turned around and told him to Shut up! Lol

4. Sweaty Betty/ Bobs forgetting to wipe down the machines – I’m a firm believer in if you’re not sweating, you’re not working hard enough BUT the last thing I want to endure is having your bodily fluids gaining contact to my skin! Gross!

5. Staff persistently offering their personal training service – I understand that personal trainers have to hustle hard and build up a clientele but if you have approached me already about what you have to offer, please leave me be until I am ready to make contact. I don’t want to have to keep dodging and diving you! Lol

6. Equipment disappearing – So annoying especially when I have a workout planned in my head and I need specific equipment which has either been stolen or misplaced.

7. Space Invaders – you know the kind of people who have no awareness of personal space! People who get on the treadmill right next to you when there are loads of empty ones. Or when you’re trying to skip and they decide to stand right in front of you!

8. Smelly People – I understand that we all get a little sweat funky after a hard workout but what drives me mad is people who smell BEFORE a workout. This only enhances the disgusting fragrance throughout their workout which results to getting a burning sensation in my nose.

9. Unattended Fully Booked Classes – My gym is the worst to book a class. You can try book a class a week in advanced and it’s still fully booked! But what annoys me the most is when I do get a place to a spinning class and there are loads of empty bikes! The least people can do is cancel their booking so that someone else can have opportunity to attend!

10. Front desk gates & security – My gym is literally on the scale of an airport! Two front desk gates which requires a gym pass to access them both! There’s been times I’ve forgotten my pass and the passionate security guard wants me to report to front desk to show some form of identification. Like to say I wasn’t here yesterday and the day before! You know my face dude just let me in!

 

*Sigh* Im going to the gym later today and just thinking about all these annoying points is getting me down! Lol I think it’s time to move to a new gym!

Make The Most Of It While You Can

It’s not often that us Londoners are blessed with a lasting hot sunny weekend but this past weekend our prayers was answered! During last week my girl made me aware of the up and coming weather and told me that we are taking a road trip to the beach! I’m not one to argue with a fun motive so of course I replied back with a “hell yeah!” Saturday we met up and got our nails done and then we hit the supermarket to buy our picnic food. We bought really cute finger snacks including humous, olives, sundried tomatoes and fruit. Sunday morning we sped down the M25 and arrived at Margate beach at 12pm. We found a car park close by which was pay and display but really reasonable! 

The vibe of Margate was really chilled and mellow, the beach wasn’t too packed and people were friendly. My girl and I brought two picnic blankets and vegged out for the whole afternoon. I haven’t been to Margate since I was a kid but it was lovely going back as an adult, seizing the day of sunshine and vibzing with good food, good music and each other’s company!

The only downfall is the bastard seagulls! We was bombarded by a tribe as soon as we took our food out. One was even brave enough to try run off with our pack of grapes 😂 luckily my girl is a tuff nut and was ready to battle with them! Me on the other hand was ducking and diving, paranoid that shit was going to land on me! Lool 

Here’s a few snaps I took of my trip xo

My version of Cobb Salad


I was watching a Tasty video on Facebook the other day on how to make a Cobb salad and it looked so yummy I just had to make my own version today! 

I started off boiling eggs, cutting and grilling bacon and chicken breast which I lightly seasoned with chill powder, garlic salt and all purpose.

I then prept my salad, slicing and dicing green and red romaine lettuce, spring onions, red & yellow bell peppers and cucumber. Once the eggs had finished boiling and cooled down, I deshelled and sliced the eggs followed by the chicken and cherry tomatoes. 

Once placing all my protein on top of my salad I made a quick dressing consisting of English mustard, apple cider vinager, honey, salt and pepper 

I forgot to add my avocados when I took my pics but I threw them in mid way through scoffing my food! Lol. It was super quick and so damn yummy! Definitely will be making this again. xo