Dating

Heartbreak Hotel

So through my limbo stages of not knowing where I stood in my relationship with my ex, my girls and I decided to go out to a bar to drown my sorrows and have a little two step. With complimentary drinks from the bars owner let’s just say that particular night got very messy which I hilariously captured on snapchat. Now I won’t upload the videos (way too embarrassing) but within the snap I kept calling myself “Heartbreak Hotel” so after showing my mum the next day of my antics you can imagine my reaction when she surprised me with this gift a week later. Loool

I guess even when your in pain, you have to keep on pushing and find the funny side of the bullshit… thanks Mum lol

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The Pain of Giving your heart to the wrong person

I know everyone goes through this at some point in their life, it’s looked at as the normal life lesson that one will always experience but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurts like hell.

I’m currently going through a heartbreak and it’s been one of the most devastating, emotionally and mentally draining experience of my life. Being the “late bloomer” out of all my friends, having not experienced multiple relationships throughout my teens and the best part of my 20’s I feel that now i am pushing 30 the lost of a relationship hurts more because of the fact that I am at the age where I want to progress; settle down and move forward to becoming a wife and a mother.

Being in a relationship with someone who is battling with their own demons can take a huge effect to the relationship and no matter how hard you fight to save the relationship and help your partner, until they are willing to help themselves you are basically flogging a dead horse.

My break up with my boyfriend was very recent so the wounds are still very much raw. Its more so heartbreaking because the destruction of my relationship was not something that happened gradually. It was literally an over night situation.

I was completely blindsided and confused as to why and how he went from telling me he loved me one day to complete isolation and no communication. After 3 and half weeks trying EVERYTHING to get this man who I thought loved me to communicate with me, I realised that I had to let go for my own sanity.

I feel at this point I’m in mourning for the relationship I thought I had, for the man I thought loved me and for the fact that I am now left all alone.

Trying to keep yourself busy when ALL your friends are in loving relationships can be deflating. And although I am so happy for my friends it cuts a little deeper when they share progressive moments in their relationships such as babies and engagements. I literally can’t keep my ass still. Nothing I’m doing is satisfying. I’m not content being with my own company because I became accustomed to spending so much time with my ex.

Let me just say that I was never this girl. I was always comfortable being on my own but right now the heartbreak is real.

I know all the cliché sayings “it wasn’t meant to be” “all in gods time” and all that other bullshit but as I sit here typing this I can’t help but feel bitter and sad towards the fact that this is actually happening to me. Like my question is why? I am a damn good woman and I did not deserve the mistreatment I received from a man I stood by and accepted all his flaws.

I know I deserve better. I know I deserve to be loved, adored and valued. But it doesn’t change the fact that now I have to start all over again and have faith that someone new won’t treat me the same way my ex did. I have to find the strength within myself to believe that there is actually a good man out there for me but for now I will sit here in my heartbreak and sip my wine.

Relationships & Being Single: New Ep out now!

Hey guys! It’s been a while! Roughly about a month since my last post 🙈 Life just took over and I lost track of things I wanted to share with you guys! Anyway as you are aware from previous post I have a YouTube channel with my friend and we recently posted a video about relationships and being single. My friend is currently in a relationship so she shares some of her experiences and I talked about being single and the “joys” of trying to find the “right one”

We received a lot of feedback (positive and negative) from men which was quite interesting. We are definitely going to do a part 2 on this topic where we will have some guys join us on this discussion and share their perspectives.

Hope you enjoy 😉

The Young Ones Are The Brave Ones 

  
 They’re most definitely are! Lately, everyday I’ve been getting approached by younger guys and I’m not talking by 1-2 years I’m talking about a good 6-7 years younger than I am. As humbling and flattering it is for the recognition of my beauty, at 27 years old I just can’t see past hello when 20 year olds are talking to me. This is no shade to their character or potential capabilities of being a great boyfriend but at the youngish age of 27 I can’t expect a 20 year old to fulfil my requirements on what I expect my man to be. I mean why should they!?! At 20 years old the last thing on my mind was having babies and marriage. I was happy being young and free, enjoying life with friends and studying at university. It just wouldn’t work, it would be selfish of myself to expect a 20 year old to settle down. 

Everyday I’m getting reached out by younger guys thinking that I am the same age as them. Once I have confirmed my actual age, they’ve actually given me a full blown personal statement on why I should give them my number, and why age ain’t nothing but a number. But at this age unfortunately it is more than just a number. It’s about vision, life goals, wants, desires and experience. At 20/21 you’re just stepping into the full legal world of adulthood, I wouldn’t want to strip away the “getting to know who I am” stage from anyone especially from a boy learning and growing to be a man.
But saying all of this I have to give credit where it’s due. These younger guys have balls of steel for seeing what they want and going for it. They have so much charm, humour and charisma… More than I can say for the men my age group and above. 

Where are they!?! Like seriously, I haven’t been approached by a man my age or older in so long. Are they all taken? Or are they just focused on building their professional life that they have no time to worry about women? I am all for the last point mentioned, building and working hard for a brighter future but damn! Can a girl get someone in her age group!? Lol
I just don’t want to invest my time in someone younger, and be left disappointed because they have come to realise they’re not ready for the level of commitment I require. 
Time is of the essence, at this age I know what I want so settling for company and sex is just not an option for me.